sicko

Sitting up beside my sleeping girlfriend. Tried to wake her, turn her on. Horny coke sad. Paranoid. Dad in the next room. Teen years? Fuck. I need to get fucked. Anything to distract me from this paranoia. One two three one two three one two three. Clench. Everyone will be up soon. I’ll still be up. Fuck fuck fuck. This is why I don’t do this anymore. Ahh swig of Southern Comfort feels better. My mattress reeks of cum. Maybe I’ll puke. Embarrassed by my constant painful boner. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap. I have to write to keep from going insane and waking her up in frantic tears. Ha ha. What a catch. Trying to smoke myself to sleep. Drink myself to sleep. Sick in my mind. Sick in myself. Sick all over the bathroom floor.